Today marks the beginning of my 28th week of pregnancy. I have officially begun the third and final trimester. The home stretch. Unlike the first trimester, I didn't spend each week of second trimester counting down how many more weeks until I made it to the next trimester. In fact, I probably wouldn't remember what week I was in if I didn't have the pregnancy ticker at the top of this blog, or have the current week written on my calendar!
There are a lot of reasons I wanted the first trimester to be over, and many less reasons for wanting the second to be over. First of all, after the first trimester, the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced. Secondly, I couldn't wait for the fatigue and nausea to wear off. Also, the pregnancy becomes more obvious with a growing belly...almost like a secret you can no longer hide and with the belly growing is a baby growing--one that you start to feel moving around! There's a reason the second trimester is called "the honeymoon period of pregnancy". You feel great, you look great, and the worry about the upcoming birth isn't in the forefront of your mind.
The third trimester is exciting for one reason: Baby only has about 12 more weeks until she makes an appearance. I am going to have another beautiful little girl that I am going to love more than words can describe. I will get to hold her and smell her and proudly watch her develop from newborn to infant to toddler. I will get to nurse her and bond with her and experience all of the newborn stuff all over again. I will get to watch Jocelyn become a big sister. I will get to witness sibling love as I never had the opportunity to experience myself. I will be the mother to two children!
The down side of the third trimester is eerily similar to the reasons you want the first trimester to end, at least when it comes to the fatigue. The bigger I get, the more tired I seem to become. I have already noticed that my feet are swollen at the end of the day. Chasing Jocelyn is a little more fun for her because I can't get to her quite as quickly. The belly gets ridiculously huge and you begin to start to worry that there is no way it will look as it did before! You're hot. You're uncomfortable. Those tiny movements from baby become bigger movements that sometimes hurt when the wrong place is kicked or shoved, or when your ribs are used as a foot stool! I start worrying once again. I worry the baby will come too early. I worry she's not moving enough--or moving too much, and this time I am worrying that having a sibling will be too traumatic for Jocelyn and she will not like what her world has become.
For me, I am really enjoying the time I have left with Jocelyn as my only child. Things are going to change quite dramatically, and I'm enjoying the routine and easiness of what we have going on already. I don't want to rush this time away. I want to enjoy it and treasure it. I'm trying to deeply etch how it feels to be pregnant into my brain--feeling baby kicks, elbows, rolls, hiccups, as this will most likely be the last time I experience pregnancy. I will have lots of time with baby once she is born. I'm going to enjoy the rest of the time I have with baby on the inside. She doesn't have to be fed every two hours in there, nor have a diaper changed, nor need numerous naps that keep me from the normal daily routine, oh and the biggest thing of all--she can stay up all night if she wants to, but that doesn't mean I have to be awake as well! Yikes! The sleep deprivation is what I am most scared of--even more so now that I already have a child who will keep me from napping throughout the day. I just keep reminding myself that the benefits FAR outweigh the downside of having a newborn!
All-in-all I am ready for what's to come. I think! A new chapter for all of us!
Now you can watch the belly grow!
5 weeks
14 weeks
28 weeks
5 weeks
14 weeks
28 weeks
This reminds me of a poem that someone posted on a blog a while back... right before she had her second baby! (Warning - may cause tears)
ReplyDeleteLoving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand,
basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you.
I watch as the pain you feel at having to
share me as you have never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way,
"Please love only me" and
I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't".
Knowing in fact that I never can again.
You cry, I cry with you.
I almost see our baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached
to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her
-- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity,
then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.
There are new times -- only now we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other,
touch each other. I watch how she adores you, as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,
I've given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are,
but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
I know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you --
you each have your own supply.
I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.
Author Unknown
You look great!!! I am glad you are last trimester!!!
ReplyDeleteThere are times when I wonder what the purpose of my life has been, is, will be. When I read what you, Brooke, just wrote, I don't question anymore.It's a journey of love and that's all I need to know. With you came the greatest gift of all. The love just keeps growing...
ReplyDelete