Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A "Perfect" Child

When you're pregnant you worry about your unborn child. You want everything to be perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes, perfect Apgar score, perfect health. As your child grows you still hope for the same thing. You watch for milestones. You worry that you will discover that something is wrong with your child. You worry about giving vaccines because you fear they may cause some sort of damage to your child. You worry if you are reading enough to them, talking enough to them, feeding them enough of what they need. There is so much worry.

Everyone wants their child to be "perfect".

When Jocelyn was a very little baby I started to worry that something may be wrong with her when she wasn't babbling when all the textbooks said she should be starting. Knowing that I'm an over-worrier sometimes, I just told myself that she was just developing slower in that area while she worked on other areas of development and that I was just worrying a little too much. I tried not to worry as much. Eventually she started babbling and I kind of let go of the worry. The worry began again when she wasn't saying her first words around the time she should have been doing so. I talked with her doctors and always heard the same thing--that children develop at their own speed and Jocelyn would catch up. I shouldn't worry until she is older. At her 18 month check-up I was the most worried I had ever been. My gut just told me something was wrong and I really had a discussion with her doctor about it. I was told once again that I shouldn't worry just yet. Give her until she is 2, but I just didn't feel right about it. My Mother's intuition wouldn't let go of the worry. I called the Alliance for Infants and Toddlers and set up an evaluation when Jocelyn was about 20 months old. The evaluation determined that Jocelyn was normal in all areas of development except for expressive language and she was diagnosed with an expressive language delay. I felt validated although I didn't want something to be "wrong" with my child. Jocelyn began receiving speech therapy in our home every other week for one hour. She made progress, but I saw the progress as a natural progress rather than any progress that was resulting from the speech therapy. I just started feeling like she wasn't getting all that she needed and I once again started to worry.

At Jocelyn's 2-year check up I spoke to the doctor again about my worries. Once again, I was told to hold off for a little while longer. She told me that if more people couldn't understand her speech by the time she was 2.5 , I should bring her back. I knew I would be bringing her back. Jocelyn has an amazing vocabulary. She can say lots of words. She understands everything anyone says to her. She talks all the time. The problem is that she leaves sounds out of words. Most of her words consist of only the last syllable sound. I can understand her 80% of the time, but I'm her mom and I'm with her all day everyday. People who are not with her a lot cannot understand her. They can probably understand her about 25% of the time. It breaks my heart. Jocelyn is very outgoing, enjoys being around a lot of people, including children. As the other children develop, she is kind of stuck behind. Children much younger than her can speak much better than her. They can't understand her when she tries to talk to them, and that causes some children to avoid her--especially those that are older than her. For now it's kind of OK. People still look at her as a baby, but as she gets older I'm afraid that she will be avoided more and it will effect her self esteem. I don't want her to change. I don't want her to become an introvert because she realizes she cannot speak to others.

The wait from 2 years to 2.5 so that her doctor would finally write a prescription for more evaluations was long. Finally, I took her back to the doctor, got the prescriptions, and she had her evaluation at Children's hospital yesterday. I was blindsided by the results. She was diagnosed with Speech Apraxia. I knew something was wrong, but I was stuck thinking that it was just a delay. I had researched apraxia in my early stages of worry back when Jocelyn was 20 months old, but her speech therapist told me that I didn't need to worry about that--she didn't show the signs. I forgot about it. When I heard the clinician say the word 'apraxia' yesterday I slowly freaked out inside my own head. I took this definition from http://www.apraxiaresearch.com/understanding-apraxia :

Apraxia is a neurogenic impairment involving planning, executing, and sequencing motor movements. The National Institute of Health defines apraxia as a disorder of the nervous system.

Apraxia is perhaps the most misunderstood of all the speech disorders. Verbal apraxia is a neurological motor speech impairment that involves a breakdown in the transmission of messages from the brain to the muscles in the jaw, cheeks, lips, tongue and palate that facilitate speech. There is no obvious weakness in these muscles and a child may well be able to move them quite happily when not trying to speak. Apraxic children, who are usually seen as "just late talkers" when young, are able to comprehend language at an age appropriate level, however have difficulty expressing themselves using speech. With apraxia, a child knows what he or she wants to say but there is a road block obstructing the signal from the brain to the mouth. For any child with a speech disorder, but especially with apraxia, the earlier therapy is begun, the better the results for your child and his or her social-emotional development.

Apraxia has a range from mild to severe. Jocelyn's case is mild, which is good. The clinician told me that it can be corrected with therapy and she will be able to communicate proficiently in the future. She will need intensive therapy. This means I will have to take her for speech 2 times a week, and from what I have read online, the therapy will be for at least 2 years. She will receive a special type of treatment that is used for Apraxia. In reading about Apraxia, it really seems that Jocelyn fits the profile. There are descriptions in the definition and explainations of apraxia that I have explained to doctors as Jocelyn's symptoms. Once again I am validated when so many people told me not to worry, and thank God I listened to my gut rather than others. Getting her help now is the best thing for her. She is still so young and hopefully that will help her treatment be easier than if she started later.

Still, I am sad. I don't want anything to be wrong with Jocelyn. Especially something neurological. It makes me sad that she understands everything people say to her, and knows what she wants to say, but just can't get the words out appropriately. I don't want her to struggle with anything. I don't want this to change her happy, outgoing personality, which is what I fear will happen as she gets older and she starts to realize that something is wrong. I don't want other children to isolate her. I don't want others to look at her and think something is wrong with her. I'm staying positive, though. It's early. Maybe she will respond to treatment quickly and this will get corrected fast. She loves going places and doing things and I know she will enjoy the therapy and the company of the therapist. She's a really smart girl, so I'm not worried that she's not going to respond to treatment. I just want it to be easy for her. Isn't that what all parents want for their children?

Todd has reminded me that this is not the worst thing that could ever happen. There are children out there that are dealing with things that threaten their lives. This can be corrected. In the mean time, I guess there is just going to be an adjustment period for me. I have to come to terms with the fact that Jocelyn has Apraxia. She has a road ahead of her that we will help her navigate and we will get through this together!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

38 Weeks

I can barely believe it, but I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. Our newest family member will be making an appearance within the next couple of weeks!

Time really flies and this pregnancy seems to have gone a lot faster than my pregnancy with Jocelyn. I am so excited to meet this little girl. I can't wait to see what she looks like, what her personality will be like, and I just can't wait to see how Jocelyn will be as a big sister! I really think she's going to be great! She already gives the baby "presents". She knows the nursery is the baby's room. She rubs my belly daily and asks me if it's time for the baby to come out yet. My new answer is, "She can come any time now." To which Jocelyn always asks if that means that people will be coming to "her house". She is excited for visitors, knowing they will come when the baby arrives.

I think we are ready. The last weeks are always so weird. Baby can come at any time and you just wonder when it will be! I'm planning on remaining pregnant through the 4th of July at the earliest, and have done a pretty good job at convincing myself that maybe she will even come a little late. My doctor told me she would do an elective induction at 39 weeks, but I'm not going to do that unless I have the surprising dilation I had with Jocelyn. We will see how my appointment goes on the 29th. If I'm still at 1cm or at anything less than 5, I am going to let things be. If I'm 5 or more, I will consider picking a date. I just don't want to have to rush to the hospital to have the baby when I have to worry about what to do with Jocelyn, etc. I'm fully expecting to be under the 5cm mark. Just because it happened with Jocelyn doesn't mean it's automatic this time...besides, I really would like to go into labor on my own!

Here's a picture of the bump...it's getting bigger. I like to call it the torpedo. It's all out to the front and looks rather silly!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day Weekend

On Saturday we went to Moraine State Park! I was so excited to go to the lake to swim and play in the sand! Daddy went in the water with me.Mommy thought the water was gross so she stayed on the blanket and watched!

Daddy and I played in the sand for a long time. He's the best!

So I gave him lots of kisses!

This year I was super excited to give daddy his father's day presents! I made his card as well as the wrapping paper! He got a 'This is What the World's Greatest Daddy Looks Like' T-shirt (every dad has to have one of those), and all three Pirates of the Caribbean Movies.
Mommy took some pictures of me and Daddy together!



After lunch we went to Cool Springs so Daddy could hit some baseballs and golf balls. He had fun and I cheered for him.

Then for dinner, we went to Benihana. I liked the soup and salad the best. I got to watch the guy cook all of our food, which was very entertaining. I never saw anything like it before!

The waitress took a picture of us. She told me to look up from my ice cream and I took her very literally.
I had a fun weekend with Daddy! I hope he had a great time as well!

Happy Father's Day Daddy!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Playdate at "My House"

Jocelyn wants everyone to come to her house. A day doesn't go by that she doesn't ask if someone (MeMe, Papa, Grampee, Grandma, Aunt Di) is going to come to her house. I don't know why she's stuck on it, but she really wants people to come to her house.

Today we had some friends over for what was supposed to be pool and sprinkler time. When her friend Brady arrived, she stood on the porch screaming, "My house! My house!" when she saw him. How exciting! Friends coming to her house to play! Of course, the pool wasn't a big hit since the temperature didn't leave the 60s while they were here, but the kids still had a lot of fun playing together!
Jocelyn and Emma destroying the sand and water table!

All three kiddos enjoying their mac 'n cheese picnic in the cold!

Fun Times at the Library!

I hadn't taken any pictures at the library in quite some time, so this past Tuesday I brought the camera along to capture some images from one of Jocelyn's most favorite things to do!

During Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Parachute Fun!

And stamps at the end from Ms. Dolores! Jocelyn has to get one on each hand and also on her belly...
We love Brentwood Library!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Like a Big Girl!

Yesterday we finally bought Jocelyn a booster seat so she could sit at the table with us! She was way too excited for dinner time! She did a great job and I don't think there's any way we will get her back into the highchair. This could get interesting!




Now we just need to find that Dora place mat her Grandma gave her...things just seem to disappear around this place!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

4 Wonderful Years!

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband!!

I can't believe it has been 12 years together and 4 years married!
I love you and thank you!!

Progress

It's getting to be that time. The time where I think about the possibility of the baby arriving at any moment. With Jocelyn I told myself the entire pregnancy that she would be 2 weeks late. I didn't want to get anxious toward the end and be one of those pregnant ladies who was miserable because her baby wasn't coming a little early or even on time. My due date was January 10th and I just let myself believe that she wouldn't arrive until at least January 18th. She was born on the 8th. It was a nice surprise!

This time, I'm having a really hard time telling myself baby will arrive late, especially because of how everything happened with Jocelyn. When the doctors start checking you for "progress" in the last weeks of your pregnancy, you expect to hear that nothing is happening. Baby's staying put for a while longer. With Jocelyn I was surprised to learn that there was 2cm of progress at 38 weeks, and even more shocked and surprised when I went back a week later and learned that I was 5cm. I have heard that women walk around at 2-3-4 cm for weeks, so I assumed at my second check that I would still be 2 cm. To make a long story short, the doctors ended up deciding to induce me at 39 weeks, 5 days because I continued to dilate without having any contractions that I knew of. They didn't want me delivering at home. I checked into the hospital at 7am on January 8th, the nurse checked me and I was 7cm. You only have to get to 10cm to start pushing and I was over half way there. Jocelyn was born at 12:35pm. So, by the time the doctors MADE me start feeling my contractions to the time she was born was very short. Now, don't they say second babies come faster? That scares me! I definitely don't want Jocelyn to have to deliver this baby at home!

So today I had an appointment. I voiced my concerns about my seemingly spontaneous dilation with Jocelyn and how I worried the same thing would happen this time, although be quicker. She agreed to check for any progress. I am one day away from being 36 weeks, and I am 1cm dilated. Whew! I feel so much better knowing that it's not any more than that. She also told me that if my body does the same thing as last time, they will once again induce me. If, in the coming weeks I dilate like a mad woman (like with Jocelyn) we will pick a date and schedule an induction. I really don't want to take that route. As long as things are normal and I'm not dilating a ton, I would like to let baby come when she's ready. On the other hand, if things go the same way as Jocelyn, it's going to be a lot easier to just go into the hospital on a specified date and have the baby rather than worry about baby being delivered at home by her big sister!

Like I said before, because of my experience with Jocelyn, and the fact that I have been having real contractions since 33 weeks (something I never experienced with Jocelyn), I can't seem to kick the idea that this baby isn't going to wait until 40 weeks to make an appearance. I hate that, though! I would much rather have the same mindset I had with Jocelyn--that this baby girl won't be arriving until at least July 15th. Oh well, time will only tell. Until then, I definitely want her to stay in for at least one more week so she's full term, but after June 17th, I'm ok with baby arriving, although I will try to tell myself that it will be July 8th at the earliest...
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