Progress

It's getting to be that time. The time where I think about the possibility of the baby arriving at any moment. With Jocelyn I told myself the entire pregnancy that she would be 2 weeks late. I didn't want to get anxious toward the end and be one of those pregnant ladies who was miserable because her baby wasn't coming a little early or even on time. My due date was January 10th and I just let myself believe that she wouldn't arrive until at least January 18th. She was born on the 8th. It was a nice surprise!

This time, I'm having a really hard time telling myself baby will arrive late, especially because of how everything happened with Jocelyn. When the doctors start checking you for "progress" in the last weeks of your pregnancy, you expect to hear that nothing is happening. Baby's staying put for a while longer. With Jocelyn I was surprised to learn that there was 2cm of progress at 38 weeks, and even more shocked and surprised when I went back a week later and learned that I was 5cm. I have heard that women walk around at 2-3-4 cm for weeks, so I assumed at my second check that I would still be 2 cm. To make a long story short, the doctors ended up deciding to induce me at 39 weeks, 5 days because I continued to dilate without having any contractions that I knew of. They didn't want me delivering at home. I checked into the hospital at 7am on January 8th, the nurse checked me and I was 7cm. You only have to get to 10cm to start pushing and I was over half way there. Jocelyn was born at 12:35pm. So, by the time the doctors MADE me start feeling my contractions to the time she was born was very short. Now, don't they say second babies come faster? That scares me! I definitely don't want Jocelyn to have to deliver this baby at home!

So today I had an appointment. I voiced my concerns about my seemingly spontaneous dilation with Jocelyn and how I worried the same thing would happen this time, although be quicker. She agreed to check for any progress. I am one day away from being 36 weeks, and I am 1cm dilated. Whew! I feel so much better knowing that it's not any more than that. She also told me that if my body does the same thing as last time, they will once again induce me. If, in the coming weeks I dilate like a mad woman (like with Jocelyn) we will pick a date and schedule an induction. I really don't want to take that route. As long as things are normal and I'm not dilating a ton, I would like to let baby come when she's ready. On the other hand, if things go the same way as Jocelyn, it's going to be a lot easier to just go into the hospital on a specified date and have the baby rather than worry about baby being delivered at home by her big sister!

Like I said before, because of my experience with Jocelyn, and the fact that I have been having real contractions since 33 weeks (something I never experienced with Jocelyn), I can't seem to kick the idea that this baby isn't going to wait until 40 weeks to make an appearance. I hate that, though! I would much rather have the same mindset I had with Jocelyn--that this baby girl won't be arriving until at least July 15th. Oh well, time will only tell. Until then, I definitely want her to stay in for at least one more week so she's full term, but after June 17th, I'm ok with baby arriving, although I will try to tell myself that it will be July 8th at the earliest...